Flint
November 15, 1849
My dearest John,
I have received your letter this morning and am indeed
thankful to God for his mercy is toward you.
I am likewise thankful toward Him that he has kept us from that awful
petulance that has been going ahead in our land, snatching off thousands of our
fellow being creatures. Awful to say
that some were not in the least prepared for that awful change. I have been witness of some that have
departed this life with horror. Oh! how
awful to think I have seen some ready to depart this life with glory in their
view. Oh! how delightful to be prepared
to leave this troublesome world. Tis a
world of __. My dearest I think that both you and I have
our share of troubles in this world. Oh!
may it be one happy lot that whenever death should call us hence we may be
found ready to enter into glory when all tears shall be wiped from our eyes and
we shall hear that ___ sound come from up hither __ blessed of my Father ___ into the joy of your
Lord. Oh! that this may be our happy
lot is my most sincere prayer.
My father has had a slight attack of cholera which frightens
me very much but thanks be to God he has withheld his hand and not bereft me of
an only __ in this world. The ___ has
entirely left the town and has been this
means of bringing many to God I hope and
trust. There are now about 2 hundred
fifty members belonging to the Welsh Weslayan and there are 16 joined to our
chapel and may God give them grace to continue in the way they have journeyed
and all things shall go well with them that fear him.
Mr. Lloyd has got quite well and hearty so all things are
better. But I am sorry to inform you that he still keeps drinking as usual on
the sly. Oh! that he would but see his folly and learn to live a righteous and
sober life. Then all things should be
added unto him.
My dearest I am sorry that I mentioned anything about going
to Manchester for I did not go after
all, but it was my fault. I should of
been certain about going before I said anything for oh! what days of uneasiness
have I spent in conjecturing things.
First I thought the letter had been misplaced again, that you were ill,
or that I had offended you in some way.
Oh! if you did but know half of what I suffered you would have written
sooner. But my dearest from this time will
you write as soon as you can. I would
not thus press upon you to write sooner
than you could conveniently spare time.
Only it causes me so much uneasiness and I know that you would not wish to cause your
Lizzy any uneasiness if you knew it, I
am sure. My dearest, I must close for
tonight it is near 12 o’clock here, has
been a fast day to day it has been all through England and Wales.
I must say adieu adieu my dearest. This is not like we used to bid good night to
each other, no, no. There are waters
that divide us from each other but in spite of all waters we can still speak
our minds to each other. I have got such
a headache, a thing that I am not used to and is shocking could in my head
which makes one quite ill. Adieu my dearest.
Friday morning 16th
My dearest John, I thought It had got too far in the __ to go
to Manchester that I preferred waiting till Spring but I don’t know whether I
shall go there for wherever I go you are not to be seen, no, no but still I will think all that time is not far distant
when we shall see each other in that ___ that comforts me. Do you remember a verse you gave me in the bible?
For perhaps he therefore departeth for as ___ on that thou mayest receive him
forever. Yes, tis those words that __ me.
As regards me leaving home, I don’t think I shall for my father does not
like me leaving home. My brother Joseph
has not taken the shop yet but I don’t know what he will do in about 3
months. My brother William takes ___
pounds a week regular and is doing very well indeed fine and I had a few words
I wrote a letter to him for some money to go to Manchester and he sent me a
very long letter home and said that I was always wanting to go from home, that
if I wanted to go I must stop til summer and go with him, but I won’t go with
him, but I sent him a fine __ so he has
been very kind since.
Oh my dearest what is this you say that you are undecided whether
to stay where you are or leave to the western states to settle down. Oh! my dearest John if you are doing middling
where you are I may beg of you to stay there for a while to see how things will
turn out . Indeed you still think of a
___ ___ understanding you think of going to the gold mines. Oh! my dearest do you think nothing of
your___ there is more than your own life, there is your Lizzy’s life too. And if there are some that have brought some
money after going there yet after all I dare say they have shortened their days
in going there. Yes, I am almost sure
they have for look at the hardships they have to go through and __ their lives
have lost in the bargain and some after all get __ after going but are obliged
to come home again destitute of anything but look at the experience of going
there and coming back again less about L200 if not more and ___ that would set
someone up in a good business in England .
Oh my dearest since you have got there and got acquainted with some people, what a pity
to go as soon as you have been amongst them
& if you go & any of them ___ you will have to go among
strangers. Oh! my dearest John if any of
the things I have stated prevent you going I will promise you that I shall earn
as much money that is in my power. I dare say I can get a good deal in a short
time, I will bank the money I will get from any others and the money I get from
sewing and the money I shall have that is coming to me and your money too if
you will have saved some. ___ it would
get us up in some business in England or where you like and we should not need
furniture for I have got plenty. My dearest
you will think me very plane but I am just stating things you will __ __ your
Lizzy that is the thing so plane but my dear I would do anything rather ___ you
should have gone . Life is such a
horrendous undertaking.
And you say dearest after I visit the gold mines you would
then return to old England. I trust you
will return to old England whether you go there or not. My dearest you need not be afraid of your
Lizzy mentioning anything about this, no, no, I would not do that . I should not be worthy of you but if you
should go to California and make your fortune there perhaps you would not think
it worth your while to bother with the one you hold dear now, but if that should
be the case then this life of mine would soon take its flight __ __ this body
mingled with the first of the earth ___
you say my dearest John if you go to California
you shall have to appeal to me for some of my money ___. Oh! If My dearest ___or what can’t so I have
no money ___ with my uncle so how could get it now or what excuse. O! my dearest if I if I had all this world at
my disposal I would give it you, but what must I do my dearest, you will
perhaps think I am ___, but ho, ho, my
dearest it is not selfishness that hinders me complaining with your request but
it is the difficulty of getting it. I
may be the means of making us both happy for life but I don’t know. My dearest you will look over things and see
you know that I would just give my right hand to you if it was needed. My dearest I know that you have troubles and
trials in this world, but oh! look to him the author and furnisher of our
faith. Yes my dearest keep looking unto
him and he will direct your path. Yes
dearest my prayers are constantly on your behalf. Yes my prayers have been answered on your
behalf before and they will again and they are answered already. My dearest my paper is getting done. I could not get any thinner paper than this
in Flint but I am going to Holywell next week and will get some. My dearest I don’t know how you will make
this out but it is wrote with a trembling hand for I am quite ill with the
headache. I wet my feet going to chapel
yesterday and got cold. Do you remember
that woman that was under the bridge and that old man, Sal June her name
was. She was found dead at ___ ___ and Fanny
Porter was near you.. She had __ ____ __
but she has recovered and is bad as ever. Mrs. Walker is near her confinement, I am going
to ___ School for five weeks but not for nothing. I am quite lost this winter. Last winter I had the only one I hold true
but now is far far away but then I say we can talk to each other yet and tell
all our troubles to.
Father desires to be kindly remembered to you.
Love,
Elizabeth Garner
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